This is a follow-up blog by Christine Gary. [Click to read original article]
mkay. I first conclusively decided I wanted to run a marathon last year...I picked the London one, as that's where I was at the time, and I arrived at this decision one month prior to the date. Unforts, it was too late to register by that time. Apparently ppl train for marathons and plan in advance to participate in 'em. pah. So i set my sights on Boston. Heck, it was my senior year, seemed timely. Plus I'd have the support of a team and get to meet this one guy whom I guess you could say holds a position of importance here at the school. (That would be Bacow for those of you refusing to follow my horrendous attempt at humorous downplay/sarcasm).
ANYWHO, point of this blog is that it's been a year-long journey of training for me during which my Body has had it's ups and downs. Actually it's been mostly neither of the two, it's been rather dull. No excitement, just plods along with whatever I'm doing to it. That is to say, most of the time. Which makes it all the more questionable when it acts counter to all the rational rules of nature.
So I've some questions I'd like to ask my Body:
1). Why is it that the day after your first 20 mile run, you weren't that sore at all, perhaps an echo of the previous days strenous exertions still lingered in your quads but nothing more...and then the day after a routine half marathon, not even your first, you can barely move. Your hamstrings grumble under their breath when you walk. Your calves entertain a gripping conversation back and forth with each step...the general consensus of your muscles as a whole is OUCH. 13 miles=ouch. 20 miles=a.ok. Escuzi? I don't see how that adds up.
2). During the weeks of training that have been most demanding, you, dear Body, have taken it all in stride. And yet, now, during what we call a tapering period when we cut our physical activity by 60%, my left hip decides to randomly start hurting. It's not even like I came back from a run and it was hurting on account of that, no, no...i just went to sleep one night and woke up the next with it hurting. Real classy Body. Clas-sy. And two weeks before the marathon. *whistles* Y'know if I didn't have a badass gangsta walk now, I'd be very put out--you know the one, where you have a hint of a limp, but not enough to qualify you as a gimp. Oh and you can throw a shoulder dip into it for extra effect. Fortunately I'm havin' too much fun with said compensatory walk to care much about the pain or its timing. But as much as I'm having a ball here, can we get rid of that before April 16th?
3). After a particularly long run, I do recall that you bludgeoned me with maladies. But what was weird was the timing of the onset and departure of said maladies. I finished the run, felt fine during it...then, not 10 minutes after my legs stopped moving and my bum started resting BOOM: Cue headache, spotted vision, nausea, upset stomach, persistent chills, inability to fall asleep despite physical exhaustion, inability to keep any food/drink down. Yea, it was ugly. Then 'bout two hours later, all symptoms vanished as quickly as they'd come and i was up and walking about as if I'd not even run that day. How'd you do that Body? And can I get that on like a clicker setting? Maladies on, maladies off?
4). Then of course there's what runners refer to as hitting the wall. You're running just fine and feel on top of the world--nay, you feel like confederates of the fairy community have snuck unbenknownst to you into your room the night before and inserted tiny springs into the soles of your running shoes. Then suddenly you pull a 180 on us. I feel like my legs are tree stumps cemented in concrete...with cars parked on them, add to that 5 dogs tied by their leashes to said tree stumps, you gotta drag 'em too...maybe stick two kids up in the tree whose stumps currently serve as your legs. In a word, they feel heavy. So tell me Body, how come you don't elicit to arrive at this stage gradually hmm? A little warning might be considerate, yes?
Well. I guess the trend here is that you are sometimes either remarkably adept at dealin' with my ridiculous whims (running long distance) and at other times you crap out. Not so sure how to control that, or what makes you choose one route over the other. But uh, it'd be real classy of you if you chose to pull a miraculous feel-good run on marathon day.
thanks. I'll make it up to you. I promise we can go into a coma afterwards. Just you and me. It'll be special.