Only an escapologist professionally escapes the physical traps of life. But what about the psychological problems we suffer day after day, the long results of who we were and sometimes still are?

I sit today with my notebook, in this cafe in the middle of a mall, wondering what has happened to who I wanted to be. I look over who I am and can't help asking what went wrong. Watching people pass, drinking green coffee out of a glass mug I sit and think, writing down my thoughts in a hope that when I read them later on, I'll have found the answers I'm looking for.

I write five whole pages of memories, loose thoughts and odd words that pop up. Later on that night, after carefully reading them, I come to the conclusion that the answers won't just pop up because you ask them to. You have to look for them and really want to know.

© 2009 Christian Madison Brinkley. Original for CCF. Madison Brinkley grants CCF first electronic rights for one month; CCF may archive the material indefinitely and include it in an eBook anthology.